Counseling Services

I specialize in the following:

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Marriage and Couples Counseling

  • Do you find yourself stuck in the same conflict with your partner, hoping something will change?
  • Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
  • Are you trying to cope with the aftermath of an affair (sexual and/or emotional)?
  • Do you question whether or not your marriage can survive?
  • Did you meet with a couples counselor in the past and feel like you were having the same fights in the office that you were having at home?  Did couples counseling feel like a waste of time and money?

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) may be able to help.  I have received specialized training in EFT and will work with you and your partner to identify and resolve the patterns that keep your relationship stuck.

What is EFT?

EFT is:

  • Empirically validated: It’s one of the few approaches to couple therapy shown by research to be effective – over 70% successful – even with highly distressed couples. An astounding 90% of couples experienced at least some improvement!
  • Based on John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory: As applied to adult love relationships, it recognizes the ongoing need we all have for reliable attachment figures in our intimate relationships and assumes that a secure attachment with our partner provides the solid base that helps us manage emotional distress.
  • An experiential approach: Couples change by identifying and expressing their ongoing need for strong, accessible, responsive emotional connections. Emotions are the focus because they  are compelling and instructive; they tell us what’s important to us.
  • Growth oriented: The focus is on individual and couple strengths and recognizes that human beings have an inherent drive towards growth and healthy relationships.
  • Collaborative: A strong alliance – where couples are the experts on their own experience and can express this in therapy –  is key. The therapist’s role is that of process consultant, helping partners connect their own internal experience with their couple interactions.
  • Focused on the present: While history often plays an important role in shaping our ways of relating, it is the emotionally driven interactions in the here and now that are the focus of therapy.
  • Emotionally engaging: The active, evocative approach is especially effective at drawing out men, who often have more difficulty accessing and expressing their emotions.
  • Clear and concise: Susan Johnson, the principal developer  of EFT for couples, has clearly elaborated a therapy model that relies on attachment theory as the basis for understanding adult love relationships, including the nature of conflict and the change process in couple therapy.

Read the following Psychology Today Article by Dr. Susan Johnson on the science of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy or listen to an online interview she did for Blog Talk Radio in October 2010.

Or, you can watch the following interview Dr. Sue Johnson did for the “Two of Us” organization. She explains the basics of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and defines what healthy marriages look like.

If you think Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can help your relationship, please contact me.

(Source:  Jeffery Hickey, LCSW www.couple-therapy.net)

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Pornography Addiction and Compulsive Sexual Behaviors

Individuals who struggle to stop viewing pornography often feel powerless and hopeless over their efforts to quit.  Partners of those who struggle feel betrayed, confused, and anxious about the pornography use.

Sometimes individuals have problematic sexual behaviors that go beyond pornography, including affairs, prostitutes/escorts, strip clubs, voyeurism, and masturbation.

Getting help for problematic sexual behavior takes courage.  I have specialized training in assisting those who struggle with pornography and sexually problematic behaviors.  I can help you stop the self-defeating patterns that threaten your emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational health.

Consider the following questions:

  • Do you keep secrets about your sexual activities from people who are most important to you?
  • Do you lead a double-life regarding some aspects of your sexual behavior?
  • Do you become sexual in ways you later regret?
  • Do you find yourself seeking more intense or frequent sexual activity despite not wanting to?
  • Does your sexual behavior put you at risk for job loss, divorce, church discipline, disease, legal action or other dire consequences?
  • Have you ever broken a sincerely made promise never to repeat a particular sexual behavior?  (Source:  Bill Herring, LCSW www.billherring.info)

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, contact me and we can talk about your situation and the best way to help you move toward a healthier you.

Treatment options are available for individuals who struggle, injured partners, couples, and families:

I also offer the following counseling services for individuals, couples, and families affected by pornography and compulsive sexual behaviors:

  • Individual counseling
  • Couples counseling
  • Parent coaching for children and adolescents struggling with pornography problems

The most important thing to do is reach out and open up to someone who can help.

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Family Counseling

Living in a family can be challenging at times.  Sometimes families get stuck in how they relate to one another.  Family therapy is an effective way of improving these relational patterns.

If you feel stuck in one of your important family relationships and you’d like to get along better, give me a call and we’ll get to work.