Do you find yourself stuck in the same conflict with your partner, hoping something will change?
Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
Are you trying to cope with the aftermath of an affair (sexual and/or emotional)?
Do you question whether or not your marriage can survive?
Did you meet with a couples counselor in the past and feel like you were having the same fights in the office that you were having at home? Did couples counseling feel like a waste of time and money?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) may be able to help. I have completed advanced training in EFT and will work with you and your partner to identify and resolve the patterns that keep your relationship stuck.
WHAT IS EFT?
Empirically validated: It’s one of the few approaches to couple therapy shown by research to be effective – over 70% successful – even with highly distressed couples. An astounding 90% of couples experienced at least some improvement!
Based on John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory: As applied to adult love relationships, it recognizes the ongoing need we all have for reliable attachment figures in our intimate relationships and assumes that a secure attachment with our partner provides the solid base that helps us manage emotional distress.
An experiential approach: Couples change by identifying and expressing their ongoing need for strong, accessible, responsive emotional connections. Emotions are the focus because they are compelling and instructive; they tell us what’s important to us.
Growth oriented: The focus is on individual and couple strengths and recognizes that human beings have an inherent drive towards growth and healthy relationships.
Collaborative: A strong alliance – where couples are the experts on their own experience and can express this in therapy – is key. The therapist’s role is that of process consultant, helping partners connect their own internal experience with their couple interactions.
Focused on the present: While history often plays an important role in shaping our ways of relating, it is the emotionally driven interactions in the here and now that are the focus of therapy.
Emotionally engaging: The active, evocative approach is especially effective at drawing out men, who often have more difficulty accessing and expressing their emotions.
Clear and concise:Susan Johnson, the principal developer of EFT for couples, has clearly elaborated a therapy model that relies on attachment theory as the basis for understanding adult love relationships, including the nature of conflict and the change process in couple therapy.
Or, you can watch the following interview Dr. Sue Johnson did for the “Two of Us” organization. She explains the basics of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and defines what healthy marriages look like.
If you think Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can help your relationship, pleasecontact me.
PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION AND COMPULSIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIORS
Individuals who struggle to stop viewing pornography often feel powerless and hopeless over their efforts to quit. Partners of those who struggle feel betrayed, confused, and anxious about the pornography use.
Sometimes individuals have problematic sexual behaviors that go beyond pornography, including affairs, prostitutes/escorts, strip clubs, voyeurism, and masturbation.
Getting help for problematic sexual behavior takes courage. I have specialized training in assisting those who struggle with pornography and sexually problematic behaviors. I can help you stop the self-defeating patterns that threaten your emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational health.
Consider the following questions:
Do you keep secrets about your sexual activities from people who are most important to you?
Do you lead a double-life regarding some aspects of your sexual behavior?
Do you become sexual in ways you later regret?
Do you find yourself seeking more intense or frequent sexual activity despite not wanting to?
Does your sexual behavior put you at risk for job loss, divorce, church discipline, disease, legal action or other dire consequences?
Have you ever broken a sincerely made promise never to repeat a particular sexual behavior? (Source: Bill Herring, LCSW www.billherring.info)
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, contact me and we can talk about your situation and the best way to help you move toward a healthier you.
Treatment options are available for individuals who struggle, betrayed partners, couples, and families:
It is surprising how difficult life becomes when you've been betrayed. There are so many unexpected hardships. Regular things feel so much more difficult (like parenting, friendships, socializing, work, sleeping, eating, and others). Even though his behavior isn't your fault, the fallout from his actions impact your mind, feelings, body, spirit, and relationships.
You long to stop the pain, so you focus on the source of that pain... your partner's addiction. You might tell yourself, "If he just gets over his pornography or sexual addiction, I'll be fine."
It's true that he does need to heal from his addictive behaviors. It's also true that you've been deeply wounded by his choices. You need your own healing.
In the stress and confusion, it's normal to forget your own need to heal and to be heard.
I can help you reclaim your life and heal.
Contact me and let me know how I can help you get the healing you need.
I also am the director of the LifeStar program, which is a treatment program for individuals and couples impacted by pornography addiction and betrayal trauma.
Therapy Session Fee: $150.00 per 45 minute session.
**If you need more time than the standard 45 minute session, then extra time will be billed at the same rate.
After you have called and set an appointment to meet with me, my office assistant will email you intake paperwork that needs to be completed online and submitted before your first appointment. Completing this beforehand will allow more time for you to speak with me in session about the issues that bring you to counseling.
INSURANCE: I am not a provider for any insurance carriers. I do not bill insurance companies. It is your responsibility to pay for your session fees prior to service. If you would like to submit a statement of service to your insurance for potential reimbursement of your costs, please inform the office assistant and they will provide one.
THIRD PARTY PAYMENT (INCLUDING LDS BISHOPS): We can submit invoices to LDS bishops for reimbursement. If your bishop will be paying for your counseling sessions, please bring his mailing address and phone number with you to your initial appointment.
* Payment will be collected prior to your session (card, check, or cash). If the session goes over the allotted time, your session fee will be adjusted accordingly.