Counseling

With over 20 years experience working with individuals, couples, and families, I will make sure you get the help you're seeking.

I have specialized training in these areas:

  • Marriage counseling (using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy - EFT)
  • Multi-day marriage therapy intensives
  • Pornography/Sexual addiction
  • Affair recovery
  • Betrayal trauma
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Frequently Asked Questions

 

Therapy Session Fee:
$150.00 per 45 minute session. 

If you need more time than the standard 45 minute session, then extra time will be billed at the same rate. Out-of-session correspondence will also be billed at my standard rate. 

Payment will be collected prior to your session (card, check, or cash). 

After you have scheduled an appointment to meet with me, my office assistant will email you intake paperwork that needs to be completed online and submitted before your first appointment. Completing this beforehand will allow more time for you to speak with me in session about the issues that bring you to counseling.

INSURANCE: I am not a provider for any insurance carriers. I do not bill insurance companies. It is your responsibility to pay for your session fees prior to service. If you would like to submit a statement of service to your insurance for potential reimbursement of your costs, please inform the office assistant and they will provide one.

THIRD PARTY PAYMENT (INCLUDING LDS BISHOPS): We can submit invoices to LDS bishops for reimbursement. If your bishop will be paying for your counseling sessions, please bring his mailing address and phone number with you to your initial appointment.  

WHAT IS EFT?

EFT is:

  • Empirically validated: It’s one of the few approaches to couple therapy shown by research to be effective – over 70% successful – even with highly distressed couples. An astounding 90% of couples experienced at least some improvement!
  • Based on John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory: As applied to adult love relationships, it recognizes the ongoing need we all have for reliable attachment figures in our intimate relationships and assumes that a secure attachment with our partner provides the solid base that helps us manage emotional distress.
  • An experiential approach: Couples change by identifying and expressing their ongoing need for strong, accessible, responsive emotional connections. Emotions are the focus because they  are compelling and instructive; they tell us what’s important to us.
  • Growth oriented: The focus is on individual and couple strengths and recognizes that human beings have an inherent drive towards growth and healthy relationships.
  • Collaborative: A strong alliance – where couples are the experts on their own experience and can express this in therapy –  is key. The therapist’s role is that of process consultant, helping partners connect their own internal experience with their couple interactions.
  • Focused on the present: While history often plays an important role in shaping our ways of relating, it is the emotionally driven interactions in the here and now that are the focus of therapy.
  • Emotionally engaging: The active, evocative approach is especially effective at drawing out men, who often have more difficulty accessing and expressing their emotions.
  • Clear and concise: Susan Johnson, the principal developer  of EFT for couples, has clearly elaborated a therapy model that relies on attachment theory as the basis for understanding adult love relationships, including the nature of conflict and the change process in couple therapy.
 
Read this article to learn more about EFT
 
 
Here is a typical roadmap for a couple going through Emotionally Focused Therapy
 

An EFT Roadmap for Couples

Reprinted by permission from the ICEEFT Newsletter: The EFT Community News, 9th ISSUE, Spring 2011
Pat LaDouceur, Ph.D., L.M.F.T. Berkeley, California
Veronica Kallos-Lilly, Ph.D., R.Psych.

Sometimes the couples we see wonder, “where they are” in the therapy process. I (Pat) wanted to create something related to Hold Me Tight that would help them see their gains, understand the rough spots, and know what to look forward to. The following is a suggested approach.

Stage 1 – Understand Your Strengths and the Patterns that Keep You Stuck

Step 1: Set goals for counselling; understand some of the ways your relationship history affects your relationship now.

Step 2: Discover and describe the negative patterns of interaction you get stuck in. You and your therapist will track your interactions with your partner and identify where and how your communication breaks down.

Step 3: Emotions are stirred up in your relationship, especially when you get stuck in these negative cycles of interaction. Emotions also drive the cycle. You may first be aware of anger, frustration, anxiety, numbness or even withdrawal. Notice inside what other feelings are beneath these initial feelings, such as hurt, sadness or fear. Begin to share these “underneath” feelings with your partner. It is OK if it feels “bumpy” – it helps diffuse the cycle sometimes, but not always.

Step 4: Describe your cycle and recognize what the triggers are. Understand how the things that you do to protect yourself and your relationship affect and may even threaten your partner. Notice how you co-create the cycle: “we’re doing that thing again...the more I go after you, the more you withdraw because you’re feeling hurt...” Slow down your conversations so that you can tap into the feelings that are beneath the surface. Catch your own thoughts (e.g., “She doesn’t care” or “I don’t matter”) before acting on them. You might notice that you can hold back your knee jerk reactions to avoid the cycle. You might not know yet how to pull each other close and you might be afraid the “old way” will come back. However, when you discover that this negative cycle is the source of unhappiness in your relationship, you realize that your partner is not the enemy. You can then work together to gain control over this negative cycle and that already feels infinitely better.

 

Stage 2 – Create a New, Intimate Relationship Bond; Change Your Communication Patterns

Step 5: Both of you are now able to talk about your feelings that get triggered by the negative cycle; including things you might not have been able to say before. With less friction and more compassion between you, there is safety to explore your experience more deeply. We all have doubts about ourselves at times and may also have fears about depending on others. You may struggle with personal fears or insecurities in this relationship. You may have had life experiences that make it difficult to trust others to be there for you. With the help of your therapist, you can take turns and begin to share these “raw spots” with your partner. As you take these risks, your partner begins to truly see and understand where you are coming from, which creates empathy.
 
Step 6: This step involves staying engaged and listening to your partner’s disclosures. Your partner may share feelings that take you by surprise. You may feel disoriented or even hurt that you have not heard your partner share so personally like this before. It is OK to experience a mixture of emotions. Start by trying to understand at an emotional level what your partner is saying, without needing to change his/her experience or take responsibility for it yourself. Stay open to the possibility of experiencing and understanding your partner in a new way. Allow yourself to be moved by your partner’s new disclosures.
 
Step 7: Explore what helps you feel deeply connected, what is most important for you in this relationship. In this stage of therapy your therapist helps you find ways to ask for your needs in the relationship in a way that is both caring and direct. You can lean into and reach for your partner and he or she is able to reach back in a loving way. You have found a new way to relate when one of you feels stressed, hurt, or insecure. The bond between you shifts, becoming closer and more intimate. You can check out your perceptions and talk about feelings. You can listen with an open heart, be curious about one another and offer reassurance when needed. Both of you have a felt sense of “being there” for each other.

Stage 3 – Use New Communication Patterns to Solve Problems and Maintain Intimacy

Step 8: Revisit old problems or decisions that have been put on hold (e.g., parenting, finances, sex, family issues, health concerns, etc.) while staying emotionally connected. They don’t seem as loaded now that you feel heard, valued, close and secure. Focus on staying accessible, responsive, and engaged while talking about practical issues. Together, you can face any of life’s challenges more easily.

Step 9: Congratulations! You have reshaped your relationship. Or perhaps this is the first time in your relationship that you have felt a profound bond with one another. You have worked hard to get here, so it’s important to celebrate it and put safeguards in place to protect it. Create rituals together that privilege your relationship. Find ways of keeping this new way of relating strong.

This opportunity allows couples two days of intensive couple therapy with Geoff Steurer, licensed marriage and family therapist and marriage recovery expert. 

Marriage intensives offer:

  • Help to couples in deep distress who need immediate and intensive attention.
  • A personalized and intensive couple therapy experience to help couples gain immediate traction and to be followed up with a therapist in their area.
  • An opportunity to begin addressing a multitude of pressing issues including: addictions, affairs, and separation/divorce.
  • Treatment that is typically done over months, but accomplished in days. 

Here’s what we can accomplish during the marriage intensive

During your intensive, I’ll work privately with you in a highly focused way for two days. It will be intensive marriage counseling for just the two of you. No other couples or therapists will be involved.

Although we can’t solve everything in two days, we can usually:

  • Quickly turn your relationship around, so it won’t go over the edge.
  • Get you through your conflict or crisis, so you can start to heal.
  • Get you on the road to recovery, so you’ll leave feeling a lot better.
  • Send you home with a specific plan, so you’ll continue to make progress.

Very likely, you’ll leave the intensives with your walls down, feeling softer and closer to each other than you have in a long time. 

Details

Cost: $3,500

Schedule:Two consecutive days 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m

During your intensive, we’ll work together each day in a highly focused way. Here is the basic schedule and cost outline.

Unlike weekly sessions, we can break when we need to. For intensives, I’m on call for you during the times listed. Each couple is unique in the pace they want to work. It’s important for you to carve out space during the two days to concentrate on your marriage. The schedule during the day will flex based on how things are going.

First Day: Typically, I'll do one hour in the morning with both partners. After that, we'll break into individual sessions (each spouse for one hour) By this time, everyone is ready for lunch. After an hour or so for lunch, we'll come back in the afternoon for more sessions with short breaks as we need them.

Second DayWe’ll begin the second day with couples counseling and take breaks as needed. If additional individual meetings are necessary, we’ll adjust accordingly. There will be a one-hour lunch. If additional time is needed after the second day, we can discuss and make arrangements, if time allows.  

Location:393 E. Riverside Drive Suite 3A, St. George, UT 84790

Next Steps: 

  1. Call 435-652-4366 to schedule a brief complimentary phone consultation to determine if this marriage intensive is a good fit for you. On the call, we’ll decide together what will best meet your needs during the two-day intensive or if there is a more appropriate treatment.
  2. The date will be set and you’ll pay a non-refundable deposit of $1000 to hold your spot. I accept checks or credit cards (please note there is a 3.75% charge associated with credit cards).
  3. I will email you intake paperwork and assessments that you will need to complete and return before the intensive.
  4. I highly recommend you read “Hold Me Tight” or “Love Sense” by Sue Johnson prior to the intensive so you’re familiar with attachment theory and the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy model of treatment. 
  5. Final payment of the balance of $2,500 for the intensive needs to be made at least one week before the intensive begins. I accept checks or credit cards (please note there is a 3.75% charge associated with credit cards).
  6. Please arrange childcare – no infants or children allowed in sessions so you can get maximum benefit from our time together.
  7. We can make recommendations for lodging and activities in the St. George area. Most clients fly into the Las Vegas airport (LAS), which is a 2-hour drive from St. George. There is a small regional airport in St. George (SGU) that is also an option.

Intensives are Not Appropriate for All Couples 

Consider these conditions before making the commitment:

  • Couples experiencing difficult issues, such as healing from an affair, may be addressed in this format, but as with all therapies, results cannot be guaranteed.
  • Couples where one partner is checked out of the relationship; or when one partner is going to therapy to tell their partner that relationship is over.
  • There is an active and ongoing affair.
  • One or both partners have a substance or alcohol abuse or addiction problem that is active, (particularly where there is denial about that issue preventing us from integrating that in to the therapy process).
  • Couples with active domestic violence, particularly where there are behaviors such as hitting, insulting, threatening physical harm and screaming and other dangerous and/or intimidating behaviors (beyond the angry yelling that many couples experience in their negative cycles or arguments); or when angry emotions and arguing behaviors go beyond and towards the area of intimate partner terrorism.
  • Couples who for whatever reason cannot be together for sessions over two days in a productive manner. For example, a couple who has not been able to engage in a civil discussion over a period of time, are not likely good candidates for this approach. Another example, if one or both partners experience a trauma reaction being with their partner for any extended times.

 
These couples or similar situations may necessitate a more traditional weekly session format or other interventions before couples therapy is appropriate. 

About St. George, Utah

The city of St. George, located in southwestern Utah, is a lovely historic city with roots in the days of the American pioneers. It is surrounded by many gorgeous bits of nature, including Snow Canyon State Park and the famously beautiful Zion National Park. In the city itself, visitors will find a charming downtown area full of history, museums, art, and culture, as well as some delicious food and excellent shopping. St. George has over 255 days per year of sunshine and is a popular vacation destination. For more information on St. George, please visit the following website:  https://www.visitstgeorge.com

I recommend couples plan an extra day or two to enjoy some time together in the beautiful surroundings of Southern Utah. 

 


Disclaimer: These couple intensives are offered by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT in support of couples wanting to do significant work on their relationship. Results cannot be guaranteed. As with other therapy services offered, no warranty or guarantee is made either explicit or implied.

Mandatory Disclosure: These therapy services will be subject to the laws and regulations of the State of Utah where the therapy occurs and Mr. Steurer is licensed. As such, though you may be visiting from out of state or country, as an LMFT in Utah, Mr. Steurer may be required to report evidence or allegations of child abuse or elder abuse to authorities or a government agency where you reside and/or in Utah depending on circumstances or to take action if a partner is a risk to self or others.

Individuals who struggle to stop viewing pornography often feel powerless and hopeless over their efforts to quit.  

Sometimes individuals have problematic sexual behaviors that go beyond pornography, including affairs, prostitutes/escorts, strip clubs, voyeurism, and masturbation.

Getting help for problematic sexual behavior takes courage.  I have specialized training in assisting those who struggle with pornography and sexually problematic behaviors.  I can help you stop the self-defeating patterns that threaten your emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational health.

Consider the following questions:

  • Do you keep secrets about your sexual activities from people who are most important to you?
  • Do you lead a double-life regarding some aspects of your sexual behavior?
  • Do you become sexual in ways you later regret?
  • Do you find yourself seeking more intense or frequent sexual activity despite not wanting to?
  • Does your sexual behavior put you at risk for job loss, divorce, church discipline, disease, legal action or other dire consequences?
  • Have you ever broken a sincerely made promise never to repeat a particular sexual behavior?  (Source:  Bill Herring, LCSW)

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, let's meet and talk about your situation to plan the best way to help you move toward a healthier you.

I am a director of LifeStar of St. George, a treatment program for individuals and couples impacted by pornography/sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. This program offers in-depth group treatment - Learn More

 

It is surprising how difficult life becomes when you've been betrayed by someone who committed to be faithful to you.

There are so many unexpected hardships. Regular things feel so much more difficult (like parenting, friendships, socializing, work, sleeping, eating, and others). Even though his behavior isn't your fault, the fallout from his actions impact your mind, feelings, body, spirit, and relationships. 

You long to stop the pain, so you focus on the source of that pain... your partner's addiction. You might tell yourself, "If he just gets over his pornography or sexual addiction, I'll be fine."

It's true that he does need to heal from his addictive behaviors. It's also true that you've been deeply wounded by his choices. You need your own healing.

In the stress and confusion, it's normal to forget your own need to heal and to be heard.


I can help you reclaim your life and heal. 
 
I am a director of LifeStar of St. George, a treatment program for individuals and couples impacted by pornography/sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. This program offers in-depth group treatment - Learn More

My training is in marriage and family therapy, so I have experience working with most issues impacting individuals, couples, and families. 

I've worked in many different settings over the past 20 years, so I can quickly assess the best kind of help for your situation.

If there is another approach or therapist who can help you more effectively, I will make sure to refer you.

My objective is to get you the right kind of help, even if it's not me. 

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