From Crisis to Connection: Michelle Mays - Culture-based attachment shaming - Episode 91

from crisis to connection podcast May 05, 2021

Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to stay with the person who betrayed you? Do you sometimes feel insecure and clingy in your relationships? This is a struggle for many adults who believe they shouldn't need other people when they're feeling insecure. In this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S for a discussion on why our attachment needs are not only normal, but essential for our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In this episode, we discuss:

A brief overview of the science of attachment
What our culture does to shame and criticize our natural attachments to each other.
How this shaming is harmful to our individual and collective wellbeing
When dealing with betrayal, how cultural views of attachment make it tough for betrayed partners who choose to stay and work it out
The balance between dependency and individuality
How we can create balanced support for personal safety while honoring our attachment reflexes.

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Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues.

Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures.

Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit.

Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC.

Links and resources:

Center for Relational Recovery -

PartnerHope -

PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners -

Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program -

Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners -

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