Refusing the victim mindset even when you've been victimized - Lindsay and Danny Poelman - Episode 122
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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.
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Podcast Description
When you've been betrayed by your spouse, it's important to make room for the initial shock and work toward emotional and physical safety. However, it's tempting for someone who has been victimized to stay frozen in the victim position. Also, this doesn't only apply to betrayed spouses. Most individuals who struggle with sexually compulsive behaviors or other addictions often feel victimized by their histories, mental illnesses, relationships, or other outside factors.
In this episode, I interview recovery coaches, Lindsay and Danny Poelman, who teach about how to take personal responsibility through the recovery process no matter what has happened to you. In this episode, we talk about:
- Their recovery story
- Why couples focus so much on the other person's recovery/healing instead of their own.
- What focusing on your own healing looks like
- Actionable steps each person can do to take personal ownership of their own healing
- How to stay connected as a couple while they work recovery together
Additional resources from Lindsay and Danny:
https://lindsaypoelmancoaching.com
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lindsaypoelmancoaching/ (@lindsaypoelmancoaching)
https://www.instagram.com/dannypoelmancoaching/ (@dannypoelmancoaching)
The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
