I have been married for 23 years, and during the first 10 years my husband had three affairs – that I know of. I was devastated, but we managed to stay together. I recently found out that the second affair went further than he had originally told me. This has completely destroyed me.
Why is it bothering me as if it happened yesterday? Little by little I am finding out details from the affair, and it destroys me and throws me off for days at a time. I will start to feel a little better, but then something new comes out. I feel disgusting, ashamed, embarrassed, like a clown and like I am not good enough. I don’t know how to move past this and shake these feelings.
He has apologized and is really trying, but I can’t get past this. I am so hurt. It consumes me every day. How can I trust him again? How can I stop living in the past? We are still together, and I still love him, but I can’t get past the pain I feel every single day. I envision them together even though it has been supposedly 17 years since they last talked.